care and share

today it was raining cats and dogs
was quite happy to see this lady sharing her umbrella wit a complete stranger
when getting down the bus
thats the love!

TAX-AVOIDING SMOKERS

i just received this school internal email:

"We wish to highlight to students that smuggling or possession of duty-unpaid cigarettes or any contraband is a very serious offence. Offenders can be jailed and fined. .........."

apparently they found out about the illegal cigarette dealer opposite school. he loiters around the pavillion near the football field, and sells contraband cigarettes to eager buyers at $5/- a pack. i do have friends who are his customers.
However myself, i do taxed cigarettes. so i'm a responsible citzen! don't i deserve more GST Refund on July 1, 2007?



Note:
How to identify and differentiate a contraband cigarette? The stick itself looks perfectly normal, however sometimes can be a little flimsy on the rolling. the outer box does not have a health warning picture (of rotting gums, jaws, babies) on the cover. and a packet of marlboro costs about $10.70 to $11.00 compared to a contraband one that costs $5.00.

THE FART MAN

this morning, this guy totally grossed me out
i was waiting for my bus at a bus stop near my house
then i saw this guy doing some contingency marching routine
wat we call the 'hentataki" (marching on the spot)
lifted his leg three times periodically
upon the third lift, his fart exploded

PLEASE DO NOT SQUEEZE YOUR FARTS IN PUBLIC
it is perfectly normal for human to fart
and it nothing shameful
but at least do it discreetly
and please - no fart surfing

if u realli have a bad stomach
bring a plastic bag
to contain all ur farts
bring ur farts home
the same way you would do to dog litter

DISGUSTING SINGAPOREAN STUDENT - guidelines

how many of u little idiots out there
have totally no idea wat ur parents are paying for your education?
its time once again of the year to pay school fees

here's the bill at a glance and how to fully utilise them:

1. Tution Fee/Grant is your BASIC school fee comes in the form of using the school facilities, your lecturer's salary, the school cleaners' salary, the fire extinguishers, gardening
so its time you bully your lecturers, exploit them to the fullest, ask stupid questions and expect intelligent questions, misuse fire extinguishers raising false fire alarms, breathe in as much air-con during lectures and tutorials; also you can pee/shit everywhere in the toilets working the cleaners like slaves; if you like you can also steal some of the tables, chairs, library books and potted plants home. Get your whole family to use the school's wireless internet connection every Sunday's family day, demand the Student Union bring them around the school like a tour guide (refer to section 7)
3. Examination Fee is for your teachers who set up the venue and printing the papers
to make full use of it, u have to take massive amounts of extra paper and string during examinations and take supp papers as much as possible
4. GPA Insurance i guess is for the software MOE uses to convert your academic results to GPA points in reference to your CU points
There's nothing you can do to fully utilise your $3, just imagine buying your educational minister a bowl of fishball noodles twice a year, with all due respect
5. Miscellaneous Fees should be for the school to have extra disposable cash
its a good $23.50, so i guess it'll be good to make the school spend unncessarily like destroying school properties like planting bombs at pavillions and stairways to kill the smokers, having a foreign student Virginia High shoot-out massacre at Engineering School
6. Sports & Wellness Fee probably goes into Enciks working at the Sports Complex, the lousy basketballs, maintanence of the parquet badminton flooring
Make full use of the FREE sports facilities, play basketball, soccer, badminton, tennis, table tenniss, volleyball, run at the track, talk nonsense and bully the Sports Hall uncles make them come out of their air-con room to attend to the minor chores, help them realise their DJ dream by running around half naked in the Sports Hall all the time getting them to make announcements over the PA - totally fun!
7. Student Union Fees obviously goes to the Student's Lounge and the freshman orientation
Join as many SU events as much as possible to get the free t-shirts, i have a cupboard full of them now. call SU ppl Slave Union members and insist they serve you at the lounge, keep getting balls stuck, sit on pool tables, spill drinks at the lounge. bully freshman in school, cut their queues in canteens, laugh/jeer at them and call them names, demoralise them by telling them how difficult school is and they will fail their modules for sure, get them to buy drinks for you, give you massages, extort from them.





P/S: I'm just clowning with the bills, the above is an example of how a disgusting singaporean student will fully utilise the school resources. I personally do not practise and encourage any actions above and will not hold any responsibility if you were to face any consequences following my guidelines.

disgustingpeople at IKEA tampines

being a swakoo, today is my first trip to tampines IKEA, COURTS, GIANT
u know the three huge buildings next to each other
so i went to take the free shuttle service at tampines interchange
when the bus arrive
the people were like flocking into the bus
like snatching for NDP tickets lidat
DAMN SCARY, i assure u
and most of them are aunties!

so we reach the GIANT bus stop
i waited patiently for the other ppl to alight
then i stood up and strolled towards the exit VERY SLOWLY
suddenly got this old lady
raised her hand in front of me like a gated barrier
and then push me aside
with the "HEY! I FIRST!" look





i was like errr-- okay
like wat the hell? there were no one else getting out already
and wat satisfaction will i derive from getting down faster?
the air at GIANT can help prevent ageing better than SKII?

thats not the end
later i had my dinner at IKEA
and in the queue, these 7-8 young ladies
pretty well dressed and look rather educated
queued in front of me wit a trolley wit 3 trays
and they replaced their dirty trays wit the clean ones


leaving the soiled trays next to the clean ones
instead of returning them to the stewarding area
which is like 10 steps away
and they have like 8 ppl
with no more than 3-4 ppl behind them in the queue
wat if someone later in the queue mistook ur soiled trays
pretty unhygienic right?
so inconsiderate!

later in front, i ordered 15 meat balls
and they ordered 6 sets of 8 meatballs
they were like snatching my plate of 15 from me
and began counting my meatballs
when the counter staff handed it to me
like wat the hell?
did u girls just come out from zoo?
stop acting like monkeys!
shame!



p/s: i apologize for the unpleasant sketches, i din have my camera wit me then

Encounter with MRT Hooligans

CONTRIBUTION BY RESPONSIBLE CITZEN
FIONA ZHENG

Last evening, took MRT home as usual at about 6.30pm like that. The train is crowded as usual. I was engrossed in reading the Chinese Novel by 倪匡。

Suddenly I felt a push, it was intentionally. I turned around and glared at that teenage.
His friends beside me started saying, "Not us wor, MRT is like tat one push here and there". One look from them u can conclude tat they are little hooligans, one of them have tattoo all over AND colour faded, OMG! So low-class.

I decided to move in, TAT was a mistake.
They continue to disturb me and others,
Finally, I decide to strike back, psychologically.

HOW?

I keep staring at them and SMILE!~ hahahaha

I pick up my mobile and started calling YING, my best frd. I told her I was in trouble. Being disturbed like 3 little hooligans who frogs in the well, with tat I continued to laugh and look at their direction.

That is. That low-educated and poor-mannered girl started to call me with ugly names.
She called me "HOOKER!" I laughed at her, she got more angry and start criticizing I got a "JIAO" face and how bad I dressed and my MU sucked!

With a character like me, I will definitely shout back and ask her to shout up. HEEEEE I didn't, say ANYTHING, just keep looking at them and smile.

The final show-down, they took my photo using their camera. I was shocked, could not react. I know is against the law, but at that point of time, should I go up to them and play punk? Call the police if they refuse to erase the photo in front of me?

I choose to ignore them. I realty cannot predict whether do they have any weapons of whatever things on them, AND I was out-numbered. Will the passengers around me help me if I got into trouble? I doubt tooo.

Well, they are just like us when we are in teens, BUT BUT BUT they are worse, do we go around disturbing people anyhow we like? WE don't.

They are getting more and more JIALAT.

Friends beware, teens are out of control.

MY UNLUCKY DAY!~

When i reached home, i told my mum, her question is HOW? U scolded them upside down?? hahah She cannot believe her ears when i told her I 'luan' and sit down quietly laughing at them non-stop like some sian char bor. To her, her daughter's patience is extended somehow.

kueh sioh ar?

i hate those ppl who like to sit so close to me
i mean leave some gap la
i know i'm hot
if u're feeling cold, buy urself a sweater
stop squeezing me to the corner
move a little!
you wun fall off the seat

and also i hate ppl who put their bags on the seat
depriving another from sitting down
especially some aunties who like to put
their dripping wet plastic bags on the seat
wa lao-- who dare to sit there after that?

lastly those morons who reads the morning papers
(not the smaller ones like Today)
and they stretch their hands so much they invade into my space
sometimes the edge of the newspaper even tickles my nose
wats worse? when i peep over to look at their papers
they show me an irritated face
"eh-- its only 70cts, buy ur own papers"
you know wat its like?
its like you walk ur dog at the neighbourhood park
and tell the joggers not to stare at its private parts
or those ladies who go town without wearing their bras
and complain about ppl staring at their nipples
like WHAT THE HELL?

Crazy Taxi

SHC 0520 E
HO HEE KUO
CITY CAB

this a**hole cab driver who gave me hell
i was rushing to my cousin's wedding last saturday
so i asked the cab driver to go to this church at paya lebah
that uncle doesn't know where it is
even when i showed him the map

wats worst?
he was driving with one hand
keep on counter-steering for nothing
the taxi was like swaying left to right

i almost vomitted
i almost shove the taxi magazines up his anus
thanx for giving me a great time on the cab

i'm feeling merciful
i shall not write to citycab

of pole dancers and gamblers

the pole in the middle of the door has became an instrument for pole dancers once again
when the bus gets crowded
a lot of ppl refuse to move it. they like to grab poles near the exits
so the poles instead of facilitating traffic movements
hinders the exiting process
and they waste my precious time
they should teach kids how to take public transport
with care and consideration in school



wat the hell is this?
1314 = sure strike
looks like a 4D number
i'm not gonna buy it for sure
so please dun strike hor!

ATTENTION SMELLY PEOPLE

if u have BO or you just finished sports
please do not sit down on the train
u'll stink up the two person beside you

instead you could stand beside the door
or somewhere far from the mass

i'm allergic to smelly people
i cough, sneeze and get hallucination
on bad days i go into trance and end up having fits

yesterday this guy who smell of sardine curry puff
sat beside me looking over my shoulder
at me playing Grand Theft Auto on my PSP
i actually like sardine curry puffs
but the smell is so strong it kills my nose
and it kills my high
on a lighter note, it also kills my game character easily

please be considerate, smelly people
u are a stake holder in air pollution issues
however you can make a difference by wearing perfume
so please do

Post Wedding Business

u know how these ppl have nice weddings and celebration at void decks
especially the chinese and malays during festive seasons

after the fuction, they just pack up their stuff and go
rarely do they wash up the public property they dirtied
such as last week
there were curry spills at the void deck
and at the basketball court

at night, the kids who played basketball
kept complaining about the foul smell of rancid curry
it doesn't take much trouble to just flush it off wit a pail of water, no?

LIANHE WANBAO

disgustingpeople was featured on LIANHE WANBAO
the report was so much better than the biased on previously on New Paper.