CINE MANIA

today i wanna talk about disgusting people in the cinema.
as i recalled some unpleasant experience over the past few years.


THE EARTHQUAKE
simply can't stand those people
who vigorously shake their legs in the cinema
as the seats all all attached per row
the whole row shakes with his legs
once, i encounter this guy in Tampines Mall GV
even the woman behind felt it
and told the 25-30yr old man to stop
he apologized and stopped
but when the exciting part of the movie came
he started shaking unconsciously again
his girlfriend didn't even stop him
if you have a similar problem
please sit on the floor


METEOR SHOWER
young teenagers like to throw un-popped corn
at strangers and their friends
i remembered a rather funny incident
some ah bengs decided to disturb a lady with permed hair
trying to plant corn in her "soil"
but once again - its bad! do not follow suit
i was once guilty of that too
when i was much younger
i remember throwing unpoped corn
at the guy in front who couldn't stop talking on the phone
his phone wasn't on silent
and he spoke damn loud
to counter the cinema's volume
everyone was damn irritated
as he did not bother to excuse himself


THE OBSERVER
if u notice, there are people in the cinema
who stares at you as u watch a movie
they dun look retarded or under privilleged
they simply watches pay $8 to watch
half of the show and you
and no, i do not look like Shrek
nor were my friends hanky panky-ing in the cinema
they just have to stare at you
and when u stare back, they look away
very odd
at first i try to convince myself
they were movie critics trying to see viewer's reaction
or police trying to catch people filming in the cinema
but NO, i also caught a 14 year old boy staring at me
so now i'm pretty sure
the problem lies with me
i look like tony leung
period


THE STORY-TELLER
this one is most irritating
they have obviously watched the movie before
have enjoyed it and came for seconds
and they have to disclose the storyline during the movie
like telling his/her friends beside
"ah-- watch! watch! the ghost coming out from the second locker"
"that guy is actually the killer"
"this guy's gonna die next"
I DON'T WANNA KNOW! I DON'T WANNA KNOW!
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
NO SPOILER NO SPOILER NO SPOILER
it always make me feel like refunding my ticket immediately
when they disclose every twists and endings
i dun need a guru spoiling the suspense
the second type is also quite similar
he/she is the wise guy who explains the plot
you know some show likes to leave you some untold plot
for you to think about it
i rather enjoy the interactivity
but someone has to spoil it for me
the wise guy will have to say things like
"orh-- they never show this part, cos later on that guy will.."
"watch carefully.. this part is a flashback as he recalls.."
"this guy damn smart. u guess wats gonna happen next?"
I DON'T WANNA GUESS! I DON'T WANNA GUESS!
is it so hard to enjoy a movie quietly?

you know wats funny?
some of these story tellers went to catch the movie alone
they have no one to talk to
so they speak to themselves
i'm serious, it sounds weird but true
i've witness it a couple of times


they really should have a SPECIAL CINEMA for these people

click image for larger



p/s: No, I'm not advertising for GV and I'm not paid.